I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
