oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
3pm strippers are depressing
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
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