Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
he puts the penis in happiness.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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