Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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