We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
