Me too!
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
