So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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