they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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