our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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