I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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