did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
