I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Randomize
