Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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