I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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