ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
