I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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