"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
