Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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