oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
