Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
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