More tranny stories later!
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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