We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
