Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Randomize
