Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize