He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Randomize