if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Randomize