in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
