Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
