i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
