...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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