party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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