i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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