Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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