I murdered the dance floor call the cops
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
how do you play pong handcuffed?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
