my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
