put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I need to sanitize my soul.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize