I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I can feel your judgement through the phone
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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