when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
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