I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
