I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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