you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
