just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize
