I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
