So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
Randomize
