I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
