i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
