I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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