I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
