we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
