census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
