I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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