What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
