I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize