I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
