Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
