So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
