I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
