But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
