I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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