Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
soo... how was my night?
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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