ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
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