party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
