Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
