I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Randomize
