i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
