Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
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