Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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