you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
