we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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