I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Who died my cat blue again?
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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