Slut skills are useful in every country.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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