Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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