The maid of honor just puked.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
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