Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Your penis caused this!
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
