I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Barsexuality is the new black.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Randomize
