I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
how does that bad decision feel?
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize