batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
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